Category Archives: Films

I moan about films.

Let Me Tell You Why I Like: Batman & Robin (1997)

[Originally published over at Vulture Hound.] Growing up with a face like mine, you learn to get used to things other people instinctively find repulsive, and for that reason I consider myself better equipped than most to objectively re-appraise films … Continue reading

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Five of the Worst Films Ever Made (That You Need to See)

[This article was originally published over at Vulture Hound. Go check ’em out.] Idiots will often tell you that there’s a fine line between genius and insanity, usually as a way to excuse their saying or doing something incredibly stupid, … Continue reading

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Thank You, MPAA; Stalwart Saviours of Purity and Moral Fibre

Did you just look at that poster? You did? Well, congratulations: you’re fucked, now. According the the ever-vigilant eye of the Motion Picture Association of America, the above poster for Sin City 2 was deemed ‘too risque’ for having the … Continue reading

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Five of the Most Hilariously Tragic Celebrity Pages on Wikipedia

Wikipedia is a fantastic resource for literally anything you could ever want to know, provided you’re not too fussed about things like facts or the truth. More than that, it’s a great place for the mentally unbalanced to unload a … Continue reading

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Five Cinematic Victories in Japan’s On-Going War Against Sanity

(This article was originally published over at Vulture Hound, check it out.) People often exploit Japan’s eccentricity for the purpose of comedy, and maybe we never will understand why they go nuts over arcade games that let you fist child … Continue reading

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Coming Soon…

Two idiots attempt to compile a list of film reviews from 2012. If the intro is anything to go by, it should be a thoroughly factual and well-researched piece of video-journalism. Hava Nagila, motherfuckers!

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Five Series that Ran out of Ideas before They Ran out of Budget

Sequels have always had a polarising effect on fans of any given series: Cynical people will tell you that the only reason sequels exist is to make money; stupid people will tell you that splitting both the last Harry Potter … Continue reading

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I Watch a Shit Film So You Don’t Have To: Nine Miles Down (2009)

Despite having a lot of it going spare, I really hate having my time wasted. I hope that doesn’t give away too much about my opinion of this shitty fucking film, but I will say it’s been a long time … Continue reading

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Supermassive Short Review: Frozen (2010)

I have a lot of free time, which is partly responsible for why we’ve never had to get a handyman out to fix anything in the flat and fully responsible for why we really, really need one. When I’m not … Continue reading

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This Week I Watched: The Raid (2011)

There exists a golden rule in movies which states that the more fighting a film has, the less coherent the plot has to be. It’s why the Matrix 2 made fuck all sense; it’s why the majority of conversations in … Continue reading

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